Patience
Do you find yourself becoming really impatient, or struggling with your life to "really" begin? If so, how do you combat it? Do you do anything? How can we support one another in this area?
I'm a very impatient person. I don't like surprises because the waiting makes me nervous. If I know something is coming but I don't know anything more it drives me crazy and makes me anxious.
I think for a while now, I kept thinking I'll find a guy soon and be getting married soon and didn't put a lot of focus on my life without that plan. I just figured it was bound to happen in college and I'd be graduating and then getting married and then I’d figure out the rest after that. It stressed me out to think of deviating from a simple clean cut plan.
I’m about to finish up my first semester of Junior year, and now I have no plan at all. I went into teaching because I figured I'd end up there anyways and I planned that I'd be getting married after college and teaching was perfect for being a mother also. My impatience to get to the life I wanted put me on what I thought was a fast track to it, go the simple route where I know every step and have a plan, but I started to realize I don't know every step. I may graduate and not be getting married and then I may just have teaching in my life.
I’ve finally changed majors completely to history. I don’t know what I will end up doing or even plans for the near future. I am changing schools for the spring semester to be closer to home, figure more out, etc. etc. I have no plans at all or idea of what will happen.
I know I’m on a path to do what I love but the chaos of it, the not knowing what is next, brings out anxiety at the first thought.
But for the first time in the midst of the chaos I'm starting to feel like I'm doing something right , that I'm on the path to the beginning of what will be my life even if I have no plan or idea of how it will turn out.
I don't know if I can ever easily shake the anxiety and impatience of not knowing what's next but whenever those thoughts come up I try my best to push them away and offer my anxiety up to God, allowing him to lead my life not me. Ultimately if God is leading my life, then I will have everything I need.
I once read a book and a passage struck me so much that I took a picture of it and keep it on my phone, unfortunately since it was on my kindle I have no idea what book it is anymore.
"... yet her heart was troubled until she took her worry to that never-failing source of comfort, her Savior. She was a woman who, in an unusual sense, had learned to lay her burden at her Lord's feet and leave it there."Whenever I worry or am anxious or impatience I always think of this passage and try to "lay my burden" at God's feet and importantly to leave it there.
Sorry this got so long!! Once I start writing I have a hard time editing!
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